Young Love

4074137_sIn a tweet somewhere along the way, I know I mentioned that we have a sixteen-year-old working at my office for the summer.  I have to admit, both my co-worker and myself were not that thrilled about this.  It’s not that we don’t like young people, but we were worried we’d have to do more babysitting than anything else.  It came as a surprise to me actually, when I found out my co-worker had the same attitude as I; mainly because she is such a social person.  I, on the other hand – the older I become – the more reclusive.  Yes, I said it.  I have only recently admitted this out loud.  I may even be headed toward that “Finding Forrester” character, you know the withdrawn writer?  Well, maybe not that unsociable, but let’s just say, I do fine working on my laptop or desktop for hours – not having the need for human interaction.

How is it that I always manage to drift off topic?  Okay, reining in my thoughts.  Keeping in mine what I said earlier, this young one has somehow attached herself to me.  One day last week, she had the need to come to me and spill her friend’s guts.  Seems her sixteen-year-old best friend is topsy-turvy over a nineteen year old.  And, as if that weren’t bad enough, he recently left for duty at some military installation in Texas.  Not to mention her parents are not happy with it.  If you are a parent, young, or otherwise, think about it for a minute.  You have a baby girl, or a fifteen year old; you cringe every time you hear a scenario such as this.  But, I’ve been sixteen, and wonky over someone older; a person I could not have.  I know you’re asking, yes?  Maybe not, but anyway, my favorite aunt had a new beau – a thirty year old from the island of Jamaica. And, can I just say, more gorgeous than you could ever imagine.  I couldn’t sleep, or eat for days.  But, what could I do?  Not only would my parents have had a cow, he belonged to my favorite aunt.  And, right now I’m thinking a fourteen year difference? WOW!  At this moment, I cannot for the life of me remember how I managed to get over it.  But, we do, don’t we?

This is that first love for this young person.  Can you remember him or her?  It’s funny; I belong to Romance Writers of America, which consists of hundreds of writers, all writing, and wanting to pen that unmistakable love story.  What I’m getting at is, all through the ages – from the beginning of time, up to today none of this has changed. Right?  Love is love, and no matter how you tell the story it’s all for the same reason.  Its human nature, something for which we were all designed.  However, my new little buddy is surprisingly focused.  All by herself, she came up with a solution.  She decided to talk to her friend about backing off for a bit. Then, I reminded her that at nineteen, there is a strong possibility this young man would not keep the relationship exclusive.  Funny, when she reported back to me a few days later, the friend thought the exact same thing; another dilemma averted.  And, just in time, because the military decided to send a nice little letter to the girl’s parents. I didn’t ask why, I didn’t need to know that.

I know there are many people who marry their high school sweethearts, and that’s fine for them.  Actually, there is definitely something special about both parties who can have, and hold onto such a relationship.  But, my philosophy is this:  We all grow, and most times not at the same speed.  When I think back to my first love, in order for us to have stayed together, I would have had to remain in the same neighborhood, and associate with the same circle of people – restricting my growth, if you will.  What does that do? It causes intense resentment.  My parents taught me at an early age to always search, and keep searching. When you do that, you, at the same time, grow, which makes it easier to distinguish what it is you really want and/or need.  Granted, I am somewhat envious of those who have married their high school honeys, and they are both the same now, as they were then.  But, you see, that’s the catch – being the same now as you had been so many years ago. Because of what my parents taught, there is no way I could have lasted.

As for my new little friend and her “BFF,” they have so much lying ahead of them.  They both have their sights set on college, and the one at my office is talking law school.  As long as she doesn’t get hit with what I’ve heard called, “The Thunderbolt,” she should do just fine.  Did you marry your first love, or that love from high school?

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Through The Years

Yesterday we celebrated Valentine’s Day.  A day to show that significant other how much we care for them.  Yes, I know, I’m a day late, but I believe this is one holiday that carries over the entire week.  And, you guessed it – I am the forever hopeful romantic.  I’m the one who believes the romance must continue to burn to keep the clock ticking on a relationship, no matter how long someone has been married.  I write women’s fiction, but with strong romantic elements, and again it’s probably the eternal romantic in me.  I trust that love and affection are like the four elements of nature; earth, water, air and fire – we, as humans cannot survive without them.  Our Creator designed it that way.  Many times it’s difficult for us, (my husband and myself) to look back at the years.  Quite a few couples that we started out with have gone their separate way, quite some time ago now – while with us, we’ve just become certain either one of us could not get along without the other.  I think the longer you’re together, it kind of comes to that end.  For sure, after the long stretch we’ve put in, I can again, only now say with confidence, our meeting way back when definitely had ordainment written all over it.

What keeps two people together through the years – while others seem to lose interest shortly after the vows.  I think a lot of it has to do with integrity.  I’ve mentioned this before, it’s about doing the right thing, and I don’t mean staying together as a miserable couple, because divorce is wrong under any circumstance.  What I mean is, we so quickly forget, we don’t have to answer to other people – the number one person to worry about is our Creator; the One that sees all and knows all.  I also believe a person does what they have witnessed over time; repeating the cycle, so to speak.  Take a gander back at your parents, your grandparents.  Did they have staying power?  My parents were separated by death – so were my grandparents, but after forty-three years, and the same holds true for my husband’s parents.  I think something has gone wrong with the act and sanctity of marriage.  Maybe, many times, the woman is so caught up in her childhood dream of lace and flowers that she forgets everything else.  Or maybe the guy wants so desperately to have a family.  I don’t know, but please believe, if the relationship is not working out or if you’re questioning the amount of time you may be able to spend with the person you’re with, simply forego the altar; one must have faith that another – the right one – is farther down the road.  Because, you see, when there is real love, it’s power will never mislead.

We as adults are quite a long way from handing out candy hearts in grammar school.  But, maybe you’re with the one you did hand a sweet heart to in the tenth grade.  If that’s the case, then you really deserve a trophy – talk about a fairy tale.  I always thought it best, two people should be from complete opposite ends of the earth, if you will.  Not someone that lived down the street or around the corner, that would also include someone you went to school with, because that puts them in your zip code, if you know what I mean.  What I’m getting at is, shouldn’t there be a “little” mystery about the person you spend your life with?  How romantic is it to remember all the people coming and going from his/her house?  Even if the visitors were spending time with their brothers or sisters.  Does that make any sense?   But, don’t get me wrong, that high school love is wonderful, yet rare; like teaching, where it takes a special individual to make it work.

What does it take to make a marriage withstand time or any curve-balls from hell thrown by the enemy?  How can you know right up front if your meeting has been pre-ordered?  I’m sorry, I wish I could give the solid answers for which so many are searching.  Actually, that resp0nse may require the assistance of the Archangel Gabriel or at the least, the “Long Island Medium.”  However, there are three things that make the top of my “to do” list – respect each other, let a lot of things roll off your back (pick your battles), and the word “Perfect” does not exist.  Okay….how about that? Do you think that’ll get you to at least year ten?

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