A Class Before “I Do”


Is it just me, or are news stories becoming more and more bizarre? Did you know the State of Colorado is pushing a bill for State mandated pre-wedding classes? And I’m left asking one more time – please, what next? First of all, there are many people who already have a problem with Church and State. My Pastor in New Jersey also held the position of Secretary of State for many years, and I have a couple of friends who had a problem with just that. Personally, it never fazed me. However, I do have a problem with Government sticking their noses where it truly does not belong. If this Bill is passed it will require couples to take a ten (10) hour class before their walk down the aisle; twenty (20) hours for a second marriage, and thirty (30) for a third. So, my next question will definitely be this – where will those counselors be when, and if there are problems down the road?

We know there is a law in the Catholic Church where members must attend Pre-Cana classes before the wedding. This, of course is a church rule that has been in place probably since the beginning of the church. As a Protestant, hubby and I didn’t mandatorily have to attend any classes. We simply had a brief discussion with Pastor about things in general. Well, not so general, the questions did have to do with wedded bliss. Now, so many years later – more than I’d like to admit, if I take the time to think about this topic – I’d have to confess, no such class would have helped. I understand, the main reason the State may want to institute such a ruling is to cut down on divorce cases bogging down the court system. But, come on, will mandated counseling help? So, in essence, do these government officials believe this law will put the fear of God in a couple? I’m laughing out loud as I write that, because only God can do that.

Another good point I must add, actually two, and I say this from my many years of matrimony, as well as what I hear from day-to-day. There are those to quick to say “Yes,” or to speedy in asking, “Will you.” Please know, I say that with tongue in cheek, because as I’ve mentioned before, hubby and I dated six weeks – he asked, and I said, yes. Who knows, maybe we both had seriously become tired of the party scene, or as I’ve also said before the entire meeting had been pre-ordained. Is there a way to tell? Who can say for sure. But, let me add this bit of advice – I don’t think it’s necessary to date someone three (3), four (4), or five (5) years before you know if they’re the one for you. I also think this ceremony is not an act that should be looked at as cosmopolitan – as in the Reception being the ultimate party. Lastly, first and foremost, a person should not go in to a marriage thinking that if something goes wrong, they can always just get a divorce. One must understand this is a serious commitment, and the words spoken during the nuptials are binding; obliging one to spend time working things out instead of just giving in to divorce.

With all that being said, you must agree there is no class that is going to make you stay. To look at it another way, imagine telling your better half, those ten hours will definitely keep me on the straight and narrow. No government agency can strengthen, or soften a heart. What I believe is most important – understand the relationship has to be worth fighting for, and if you don’t have that impression once you’ve decided to ask, or say yes, then the entire thing needs rethinking. Step back for a minute. But, the more I think about this, the more I realize, this is one topic that I am very old-fashioned about. I’m one of those who’d like to go through the television, grab one of those Bridezilla “Brides to be,” smack her around and yell, “Snap out of it.” Please, tell me what you think.

Image courtesy of 123rf.com

Information from Wikipedia & Washington Post

4 thoughts on “A Class Before “I Do”

  1. Hubby and I ran a Pre-Cana course at our church for seven years. Twice a year we devoted an entire weekend to getting young engaged couples to communicate with each other on specific topics. Sometimes, the subsequent marriages of those young couples did not last. 😦

    Marriage is not a bed of roses and it takes work, but some young people don’t understand that.

  2. When society tries to take God out of marriage (And that’s the battle right now: Is marriage a government-created institution or a God-designed institution?), then there is no standard to tie couples to work together with integrity, honesty, fidelity, or even patience. If people don’t bind themselves to standards of morality, government must fill that void to compensate. Self-control is replaced by force. People have to give up their freedoms to be protected by their government from those who refuse to follow decent moral code. The heavier government’s hand grows, the more opportunities there are for greedy individuals to take advantage–aka, fleece–large, peaceful groups of people. Fleecing them of their wages, their rights, their family relationship, their individuality, and, ultimately their hope and inner will. The answer is for each individual to agree to follow a higher standard, a set of agreed-upon truths, rather than self gratification. “We hold these truths to be self-evident..” Are they self-evident anymore?
    Can you tell your topic spoke to me? 🙂 Thanks, Veronica!

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