Lizard…Lizard…Lizard

Back in October, the temps here reached the high 70s during the week of Columbus Day. On the east coast we have always known that seven days specifically as Indian Summer.  Therefore, all of the creepy crawlies, normally out during warm weather, continued their summer activities.  As I mentioned a couple of blogs ago, my desk faces outside, and is very close to the front door; the same entrance way that had a slight dip.  What I mean is, the weather striping had been worn away at one particular spot, leaving a perfect place for anything slithering – to glide right on inside.  Let me set the scene.  Here I sit at my desk, busily labeling defendant documents.  Now, I say this, because at the time, I didn’t bother anyone or anything, and no one should have bothered me.  But no –  suddenly, my peripheral vision caught sight of a black streak scurrying on the floor to the left of my chair.

Now, not all of you reading this know me.  You would have no idea that I would rather walk a mile out-of-the-way than continue down the same walkway where I had come upon anything crawling on its belly.  You also would not know that I ran two blocks after throwing my bike in the ditch from a dead garter snake.  Oh sure, you know from my blog the week of Thanksgiving how my father scared the snot out of me with the rubber snake in a bag, but you have never actually witnessed any of this.  Do you know how far or how fast a person can move when fear comes calling?  So, although we’re talking about the creature moving at lightening speed, I caught a shape, and a color which proved all the information by brain needed.  My gray cells processed the data provided, instantly sent a message to the vocal cords, producing not a scream, but a squeal; just enough to alert everyone a problem existed.  Only a millisecond later, the feet and arms responded, sending me clearly to the other side of the office. Remarkably, the papers I had been working on never left the desk, somewhat disheveled, but they remained in that spot – good thing too, because one of the attorneys would have been retrieving them, and not me.

So, here I am cowering in a corner on the other side of the office, and my co-worker scrambling toward me, urgently asking what the problem might be.  The two attorneys also scrambled out – all staring at me as though I’d set up a robbery, the thief had shown up, and I’m now reacting.  I began pointing toward my desk, and tried to speak the words.  “Lizard…lizard…lizard…by my desk.”  The senior partner’s face, I think, said it all.  He stared at me as if to say “What?  Well, was it a Gila Monster.”  I said to myself, yeah, yeah, think what you want, only kill the beast.  Needless to say, I couldn’t move from my protective corner.  My co-worker followed the guys, and reported back to me.  With each thwack of the wrist I cringed, thinking oh my Lord, it must have been bigger than I first thought.  It went down like a hostage situation, the only thing missing had been the walkie-talkies where they reported each negotiation back to her.  I remained in my space until all the commotion died down and I got word – “It’s done.”

My co-worker reported the news to a client later in the day.  He laughed and commented on how it must have been an alligator since it took two men to bring the quick little so and so down.  My grandmother used to say of ghosts, they won’t hurt you, but they will certainly make you kill yourself (trying to get out of its way that is). That is exactly my opinion on these little creatures.  And, I’m not talking about the cute little television gecko or my animated reptile in the suit.  My neighbors seven-year old daughter, also laughed at me, because she catches them and tries to keep them in a jar.  To bad she had not been there to catch the little critter for me, as she does when I see them on my family room window.  Interested in the outcome?  My attorney called the repair guy, who came to fix the door.  He too gave me a look as if to say, “Really?”  All I can say is, they don’t know how lucky they are.  Because, if the Gila Monster had run across my foot, the papers would have definitely gone flying.  Then, there would have been much more than strewn papers to clean from the floor, if you know what I mean.  Am I the only one afraid of creepy crawlers?

Photo courtesy of iStockPhoto.com

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