In Praise of Friendships

I have a friend that has been my compadre for thirty-seven years.  I’d like to call her my “partner in crime.”  Now, along the way I have had other pals, which I now consider more as acquaintances.  I’m sure we have all had people who started out as a companion, but somewhere along the way something happened – they went in one direction, and we went another.  My thirty-seven year bud has been there through integral times in my life, as well as I in her days.  We’ve loss touch from time to time, but suddenly, there she is or there I am, and when this happens we just pick up from where we were last.  I don’t have to perform special feats to prove what she means to me, and neither does she.  Of course, for the most part, women are that way.  Am I right?  Recently, we just found each other again on Facebook, and the two of us are up to our old shenanigans, just more toned down, since we both have some years behind us.

I think a friend is the dearest and most precious gift one could have.  And even if, for whatever reason, it doesn’t appear that way at the moment; after life’s ups and downs and, roundabouts – when the dust settles and a person is still standing with at least one at their side, I think they have been blessed.  No one stood at the hour of our birth with an injection opening our minds to stressful moments up ahead; to the fact that along our travels we would occasionally need a commandant with which to share intimacies – someone other than our significant others.  Also, we were never told, at a young age that is, that after reaching a certain point in life, if there were more than that one buddy standing nearby, then one truly had been visited by fortune.

I consider a true chum, a person that I am completely comfortable around.  I can talk to them about anything, and maybe not so much to give me advice versus just being there to listen – someone to cry with; literally, if needed.  Also, I don’t think it’s truly necessary to have many, many years behind you – although we know that makes for an even deeper relationship.  But, what I’m saying is, I think two people must click at the first. Otherwise, they don’t have the similarity, and it takes a little more work to form a connection.

People meet in many ways.  I remember back to when my family moved from Brooklyn to Queens, I happened to be catapulted into an acquaintanceship with three other teenagers in the neighborhood.  As we got older, one moved away, and then, I got married.  I do recall us being pretty close, at least that’s what I thought at that time.  Then, through the years, I looked at it again, and I realized the expectations of me were to follow, instead of allowing the slightest bit of my personality to stand out.  A true companion allows a person to be themselves – one won’t have to follow or lead.  Now, I understand those are the two categories with which people fall, but like a solid marriage, a concrete close tie will also bend and twist so that both party’s qualities can shine through.

Please understand this is in no way preaching or to make anyone believe me to be a Doctor of Philosophy or a Doctor of Psychology.  I have simply been doing a lot of thinking about people who have come and gone – about two other people with whom I had a bond, and have passed on, too soon; my childhood acquaintances, and who I’m left with at this moment.  So just consider this piece a composition praising friendships, and reminding everyone to cherish what you have in the true compadre you call a friend.  I would enjoy hearing more tales of life-long amigos.

Photo courtesy of iStock Photo

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