I recently came across the word “Peacemaker” while reading, and developed an overwhelming desire to discuss it here in my blog. I’d like to begin by saying, I’m fairly secure that all – each and every family has one troublemaker, am I right? Maybe even two depending on their size. I also believe that in the same group of relatives a mediator has been planted; one that has the ability to calm turbulent situations. Now, although that go-between can themselves be squeezed to the point of fracture at times, for the most part they will usually have the capability to diffuse whatever is taking place.
But who appoints this person? Are they born with a label on their bottom, “Negotiator.” No, who has ever heard of such a thing. I do believe, however, they can be picked out of a crowd at a young age. They usually are the ones standing between two brothers – both struggling for the same toy or the teenager turning her gaze from one friend to the other as she tries to wrangle, at the least, a compromise.
Let’s think of some of the great peacemakers through our time – Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Robert F. Kennedy, and the still very much alive Desmond Tutu. I wonder if their grandmothers, grandfathers or an aging aunt somewhere said of them, “That one is going to make a difference.” I would be willing to bet that in their youth, before they knew their calling, someone witnessed them promoting order among their friends, and in their family. We know we cannot all have attributes as these, but at least, for the remainder of us we can hope to make history, if only in our own families. Now, taking this a step further, if we all had that nature we wouldn’t have the need for harmony-makers – there would be no darkness, there would only be light, but….uh….isn’t that called heaven?
Now, for the agitators, I maintain even they require peace and quiet. It’s just, they can’t recognize the necessity, since their dysfunction keeps getting in the way; something about the attention they never received, yet so desperately crave, I imagine. But, when pressed, I don’t think they would actually say, “No…no I like it when there’s confusion and turmoil.” Would not that make the statement that that person bore the scars of mental unbalance? As individuals, we cannot fix people, and we certainly can’t change them if they are unwilling.
So, do we go on accepting and allowing the instigators to upset calm? Do we throw them away? Do we avoid them, hoping never to cross their path again – ever? No, we can’t do that, because that would then place us in the unbalanced section. Although, unhinged or not, that would probably be my first choice; this guarantees tranquility. However, I have learned through life to face it directly. I believe in expressing my opinion, picking myself up, and hitting the door.
But, all in all, this has been studied from so many angles, and has anyone come up with a satisfying answer to the dilemma of family discord? My mother used to say, put two different species of animal together in the same cage, they will come up with a way to get along. Us humans – whole different tree. I have always been a woman of peace; in my family, my home, and at my job. What say ye?
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